Pandora Radio--helping or harming me? :)

My daughter, the elder, turned me onto this new website...Pandora Radio. Love it. Though she may rue the day that she ever showed it to me. I am currently going through an acoustic guitar, dreamy male singer who sings about A. his undying devotion to the one he loves and how he will climb mountains and swim oceans to get to her or 2. how he is so sorry that he screwed up the relationship with the one that he was thus devoted to. So, now, I can add many, many of such singers to my current sparse repertoire of Joshua Radin, Brad Passons, John Mayer and Jack Johnson. Now, I have tons of new music I can buy and bore her to death each time we enter the car.

And about this new music that I am obsessed with....don't know if it is helping or harming me. I mean, every single song is a love ballad about the greatest love ever known. Something I am sorely lacking in my own life. So, I sit and listen and often tear up at the sweetness of it all. I really think I am listening to this kind of music so much simply because I don't have anything at all close to that kind of love, or any love for that matter, in my life. I usually can't listen to that kind of music because it makes me resent the person I am with, knowing that he doesn't and will never love me anywhere near as much as these guys love their gals. But, right now, I can listen and become hopeful that I will find it. I can tell myself that it is out there for me. Today, my love life has no limitations, if you think about it. I haven't boxed myself into a relationship with someone who falls short of one of my long list of expectations. Right now, I still have the hope of finding that one guy who meets all the criterion which I have set. And I think that is why I am so terrified every time I start a relationship. About 5 minutes into it, I realize that there is something "wrong" with them and I panic.

But, no matter, because sitting in my house or my friends' houses does not afford me many opportunities to meet eligible men, now does it? And it isn't that I am not willing to make some effort, but what kind of effort is there to make? Too old to do the bar scene. Online dating is a complete nightmare...complete. Oh well. If it is meant to be, it will be, right?